Cast Vicariously as Both Victim and Villain

V for Vendetta anyone? Went to Tom's house today and watched it with him,Cam and Lucy. Was nice though I probably gave Cam some disease and if he dies I'm sorry and please don't blame me. I'm a sick zombie girl. Really, in a way. I'm playing Humans Vs. Zombies and I've been caught and zombified. Makes more sense if you're in Melbourne.

Anyway I love Cassie from Skins. She reminds me of when I was a young 17 year old.
Uh, one year from now. I do like pretending to be old and wise.
Anyway, Cassie makes sense, because I really do love everyone even if i don't like them. Probably not good that the manic, pixie, depressed one makes sense. Apparently Cassie is an example of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, a sterotypical character in film and tv. They're meant to be shallow personality wise because apparently they have no goal in life except to make some guy happy; but I love her. She's tragic, alone and beautiful. Possibly the panadol talking in all of this I'll admit.

I am feeling and sounding like a zombie. Attractive is definitely the word I'd use to describe it.

All this is not helping out with year 12.

I'm half sick, half dreaming.

I'm failing to care enough.

xin
I'm also thinking maybe I need to make a new anonymous blog. It's weird having people know you.

And There's No Where Else in the World I'd Rather Be

It's a good day to listen to the cure.

xin
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Sinusoidal

Yeah you physics nerds should know what that means.


It’s also what I call it is my rule of sine (xin) where everything good is followed by something bad and vice versa. For example on Monday I had a brilliant day. Refer to ‘eeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3’. Then as soon as I got home my mother was in a grumpy mood and she yelled and then my father yelled and then I yelled. It was the most yelling I’ve done all year. So good is counteracted with bad. Always. It’s not always straightaway but it happens.

It makes sense to the science side of my mind as well. Everything has its’ balance. In biology things always pair up. Chemistry uses balanced equations. Physics states that for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Anyway the provocation of this was that recently I’ve been feeling weird. Happy because I have a boy. Sad, with a growing sense of despair, because I have so much work. (Which blogging isn’t really helping with.) Frustrated because my parents are annoying. Confused because I should just be happy. Crazy because this is ridiculous. Just mood swinging in a sinusoidal fashion. It won’t last, the counterbalance will happen. I just have to ride this wave out.

xin
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Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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I was at my bus stop today and everything was so pretty. It was a sunset, there was a rainbow and there were small children playing in the park. Everything was all so pretty. Like seriously. A RAINBOW. Plus, the kids in the park were skipping in height order and just awwww cute.

I am very very very happy. I HAS A BOY. He's tasty and wonderful. Plus he's comfy to sit on :)♥♥♥
Oh wow! Overload of wonderfulness. If anyone is getting sick with all the YAYYY CUPCAKE, too bad for you and stop reading my blog.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
So I hears I'm all squealy and eeeeee like and I has bad writing skills.

It's been such a good day. Really, since this morning I've been all bouncy and full of energy. On the train I couldn't sit down. I probably looked insane but that's nothing new. Anyway the whole going outness happened pretty smoothly (good work cupcake ) and fairly unawkwardly. Despite SOME PEOPLE constantly giggling at us. Thank you my lovely friends. Oh so much.

The Rhombus has evolved! :O Now we're all paired up and it's all worked out!
Penguin/lulubear is my bfflwp. (best friends for life with privleges). Tank engine is my boy bestie. Bear is my sexy beast ;)

So much love right now,
Xin

ICH BIN NICHT EIN ROBOTER

I AM HAPPY. LIKE SUPER MEGA APE HORNY HAPPY. Yeah, theres a german word for awesome i think and it's literally super ape horny or something like that (superaffengeil) . Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

I am manic grinning like crazy and I feel like a stupid squealy schoolgirl (:O alliteration!)

Basically last night was brilliant. I had a lovely dinner (Grill'd) where me and my friend mused over many a thing. Then I saw Die Roten Punkte with some awesome people <3.
It's actually the first time I've been in the city at night and only with friends :O
I love the city at night! It's so pretty and cold and exciting. Also I'm happiest at night and stuff.
DIE ROTEN PUNKTE ARE BRILL.  They had an inflatable dinosaur. :D
They sang Ich Bin Nicht Ein Roboter (I am a Lion).

Therefore my life goal is now to become a roadie ninjaaaa.

Oh and a little shout out to my smooottthhh friend. Good work there, I'm proud of you. Technique could still be improved though :D but we're getting there. Which is actually the main reason I've been grinning like a madwoman and I think I'm being silly but I can't help it and ahhhhh.

Oh dear. Calm down. Really.

Have a pic:

Astrid and Otto! <3 They are gonna be our inspiration for battle of the bands. Otto is brill. HE HAS AN ELECTRIC UKULELE. or maybe it's a tiny guitar. oh well. LOVES ANYWAY.

<3 xin

1984

I keep having conversations about this book. George Orwell is a genius and I love the world of 1984. It’s actually quite scary how inescapable and confined it is. Within 1984, everything is watched, everyone is monitored, everything aspect of your life has been tampered with. There is no freedom, no safety and no privacy. In 1984 you’re never truly alone, yet always isolated. The party controls all information and therefore controls all. But they don’t stop there; they begin to try to alter the nature of humanity. One of the most frightening devices to employ is the concept of Newspeak. Newspeak demonstrates how thoughts can be controlled by controlling language. How by restricting language they can restrict ideas, or at least any expression of them. How would you describe a feeling or idea if there were no words to?

Realistically 1984 will never occur in real life. Not to that extent at least. To reach such a stage would be the end of humanity. We would become some sort of monstrous machine.

and that's enough for now.
This is really just something to keep y'all entertained coz my mind is dead and I'm sick.
<3 xin

Does it Have to Be So Cold in Ireland?

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When I say Ireland I mean Melbourne. Obviously.
My moods tend to be related to the weather. Not a good thing seeing as Melbourne is bipolar. I spent the first four sessions today grinning like an idiot. My face was seriously hurting from smiling so much. I blame SOMEONE. Then the clouds moved in and I was just tired. Though, thinking about it, this is also possibly because of one and a half sessions of methods.

It seems I’m in quite a blog writing mood this week. Second post in two days! I might actually bore people to death. Yayeah. School’s back and I suppose blogging is an effective procrastination tool. (Hmmm effective procrastination?) So check it out; I told you there were apple logo cookies. Though, I have a pc. Stop there, I am NOT going into a debate about mac vs pc. Don’t you dare. Oh and I’d like to thank my cousin for convincing my mother that I need more internet time for year 12. My laptop is still internet free but I can use the main computer.


I’d also like to give thanks to Sally for providing tasty choc chip pancakes this morning, they gave me the motivation to wake up at 6.30 instead of 9 and get to school on time. That is truly amazing.

Oh to leave on a positive. SOMEONE needs to give me some rollerblades. And I WANT my rollerblades.

Six Impossible Things

Yeah I know I was meant to do work yesterday. But it's still the holidays! Laziness will kill me.
I saw Alice in Wonderland, the Tim Burton one. Unfortunately I didn't see it in 3D so half the time I was thinking 'this would look cooler in 3D'. The best character was the cheshire cat. Look at that happy face! Tim Burton's magic wasn't that great in this, I really felt like slapping Anne Hathway's White Queen character with the hand movements. But it was pretty enough.

I was also going to make a post full of Alice in wonderland pictures. But I've been beaten to it many times.
Here and here.

Oh and for the people that wanted Lego Tower pictures. Well you see, I had a 3yr old cousin over and well. The tower only lasted about 2 minutes.

Anyway, time to stress about work. ARGH PHYSICS. How is that the total resistance?!
This is a good way of spending my last day of holidays. I'm not looking forward to school, big surprise. The only thing good is seeing my friends just about daily with their beautiful smiling faces :).

Apparently university is harder than yr 12. My cousin told me that he worked too hard in yr 12 for his 98 ENTER and he could have just taken it easy. I'm not going to follow his advice; I'm really bad enough as it is. Plus I've already sold my soul to the spesh god so I might as well make the most of it.

Wish me luck for term 2!

p.s. I caught a butterfly in my hands. It was suprisingly warm sitting there. It also may have been a moth which is slightly disappointing. It's funny how it being a moth can change your feelings. Butterflies have such positive connotations where as moths just eat your clothes and are fuzzy when squashed.

p.p.s. Thank you to Thomas who has made a wonderful header and background for this blog. What a skilled kid. :D

Off Balanced

I’m so sore and tired right now. Yesterday I went to my friend Lucy’s birthday in a park. It was wonderful running around. Yes I know I’m 16 but it was fun ok? Running around like I’m 9 without a care in the world is fun. Even the pain feels nice in a way; reminds me of when I did soccer and the like. I love playgrounds! Why the hell would I want to grow up? Yeah, take that sister, miss ‘you guys are so lame’. She’s younger than me and she thinks she’s so cool.
Despite the massive amounts of awesome I felt a little off balance the whole day. Still do. It’s probably whoremones and lack of sleep but it stopped me from smiling excessively. Of course this off balance thing is what I blame my multiple un-co failures on playground equipment on. I swear I’m normally I’m great at being a little kid. (Insert joke about me being the kid sized, hahaha.)

Anyway, though I wasn’t smiling excessively it was still great. We had spinny, dizzy making rides on the roundabout, (which is where I fell off gracefully); there was good cake, with MEOW written on it in SMARTIES; I got to make a good call about candle replacements; I got lots of squeezehugs; I got to ride on my good friend’s manly shoulders; we climbed multiple playground equipments and we got to wear my fake-bowler hat with a flower on it. Obviously a great day.

I know I said at the start of this blog that I’d write well and not just about feelings and bleh. I’m getting around to that. Sometime I will be writing stuff on politics or philosophy or books. Oh dear. I also have a weekend of doing all my holiday homework ahead of me.

Until then though, you’re stuck with this stuff and I’m going to curl up in a ball and sleep.

p.s. I wish you could be in my hall right now. We have a lego tower that goes from the floor to the ceiling.

That's more than two metres. It is amazing. This one was because of my brother. I am proud

It's Over

Quick Post:
Diamond/Rhombus has died! tank engine and lulubear are going out :)
(refer to previous posts) Hurrah! Everyone's happy and loved.
So champagne for all.

Thanks to my friend Thomas who has made my blog a new header.

Love xin.

These Days

These days turned out nothing like I had planned.

With all the crazy diamond/rhombus stuff happening I haven't had time for a celebratory post.

Here's to holidays. To temporary school free bliss of a sort. The thing with holidays though is I get lazy and it always feels a little bit like the calm before the storm. 

I currently feel like a happy cat. I wish my friends were in my house. I'd lie down with them. Watch the ceiling. Talk about everything. Not talk at all. This is what I imagine love to be like. Pointless. Happiness. Safety. And when we sleep the dreams are smooth slippery streams of subconciousness. I wouldn't need to do great things. Be some special. It wouldn't matter at all.

That's my dream. Because it's not us against the world. It's us and that's it.  

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