I Can See You Poor Boy Sitting Down All Dolled Up No Where To Go

It's Regency Charmander! Who doesn't love things by Mr Darcy. Speaking of old school romanticism. What happened to it? No, I'm not complaining about how 'there's no more nice guys' or that there aren't 'gentlemen left in the world'. More just wondering what happened?

Some say chivalry is dead. That it's now seen as sexist. Ok, firstly WRONG. Guys are still allowed to be gentlemen. Sure some girls don't like it but the many girls still do want a knight in shining armor. Ok not quite. But you don't have to be a testosterone fueled idiot to get girls. I think most girls want someone who is strong but does have a soft side that's not well known about. But hey that's just my opinion. A lot of this stuff works with out biological evolution as well. We select for strong males but we also want them to have emotions so that they can protect the kids and take care of them.

Sometime I hate how evolution works. Especially human sexual selection because it means the pretty people have the best genetics and there's nothing we can do about them being more attractive. Sure we can put on lots of make up or whatever but it's kinda just hiding our genetic makeup. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like all the pretty clothes and make up is just a cover up.

Anyway this long post hopefully makes up for the fact the last time I posted was a week ago. Everyone seems pretty down at the moment. The cold is sucking my energy.

xin

Trying to be Two Hundred Thousand Years Younger

So I could excuse myself from humankind.

Back at school again. 49 days of it left. I'm doing my homework now. Should have started awhile ago, as in years, but better late than never right?

So yeah, woke up way to early for the soccer to see Spain win. Congrats to them. Now I want to learn Spanish more than ever. Been slightly feverish which is always worrisome. But I'm fine now. Yesterday I spent painting walls for the rents.

Anyway. I've always liked maps and geography. Was good at it too! But that's back in the day. I don't know why I always found it interesting to learn about countries and places. Maybe to soothe the traveler in me. Or just to understand how humans have touched the whole Earth. Or I was just a weird kid who wanted to know that the highest mountain in Western Europe was Mont Blanc.

Point is I FEEL LIKE EXPLORING.

xin

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.

 

 

As my friend recently said, we are all just people. I'm in one of those moods where I feel flat. Maybe it's all those 3D movies coming out that make me feel 2D. But really we aren't so special. I suppose that's what love is for. Making people feel special.

Anyway I wanted to say: I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP. I've seen what it does to people and I much rather stay where I am. But sooner or later it happens. Here you are remembering your good old year 7 days when BAM you're worrying about how to get into a club with fake ID. I've got hopefully half a century of being over 18 and only two more years of being under. I feel no rush. That's not so bad. I remember back in primary school. We were only 11 and we were discussing who wasn't a virgin. FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I wish little kids weren't so eager to be adults.

I suppose it's a very, very mad world.

xin

ps. In other news Argentina vs Germany has just kicked off. Argentina ftw. It's gonna be a good game.

Cast Vicariously as Both Victim and Villain

V for Vendetta anyone? Went to Tom's house today and watched it with him,Cam and Lucy. Was nice though I probably gave Cam some disease and if he dies I'm sorry and please don't blame me. I'm a sick zombie girl. Really, in a way. I'm playing Humans Vs. Zombies and I've been caught and zombified. Makes more sense if you're in Melbourne.

Anyway I love Cassie from Skins. She reminds me of when I was a young 17 year old.
Uh, one year from now. I do like pretending to be old and wise.
Anyway, Cassie makes sense, because I really do love everyone even if i don't like them. Probably not good that the manic, pixie, depressed one makes sense. Apparently Cassie is an example of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, a sterotypical character in film and tv. They're meant to be shallow personality wise because apparently they have no goal in life except to make some guy happy; but I love her. She's tragic, alone and beautiful. Possibly the panadol talking in all of this I'll admit.

I am feeling and sounding like a zombie. Attractive is definitely the word I'd use to describe it.

All this is not helping out with year 12.

I'm half sick, half dreaming.

I'm failing to care enough.

xin
I'm also thinking maybe I need to make a new anonymous blog. It's weird having people know you.

Sinusoidal

Yeah you physics nerds should know what that means.


It’s also what I call it is my rule of sine (xin) where everything good is followed by something bad and vice versa. For example on Monday I had a brilliant day. Refer to ‘eeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3’. Then as soon as I got home my mother was in a grumpy mood and she yelled and then my father yelled and then I yelled. It was the most yelling I’ve done all year. So good is counteracted with bad. Always. It’s not always straightaway but it happens.

It makes sense to the science side of my mind as well. Everything has its’ balance. In biology things always pair up. Chemistry uses balanced equations. Physics states that for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Anyway the provocation of this was that recently I’ve been feeling weird. Happy because I have a boy. Sad, with a growing sense of despair, because I have so much work. (Which blogging isn’t really helping with.) Frustrated because my parents are annoying. Confused because I should just be happy. Crazy because this is ridiculous. Just mood swinging in a sinusoidal fashion. It won’t last, the counterbalance will happen. I just have to ride this wave out.

xin
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Off Balanced

I’m so sore and tired right now. Yesterday I went to my friend Lucy’s birthday in a park. It was wonderful running around. Yes I know I’m 16 but it was fun ok? Running around like I’m 9 without a care in the world is fun. Even the pain feels nice in a way; reminds me of when I did soccer and the like. I love playgrounds! Why the hell would I want to grow up? Yeah, take that sister, miss ‘you guys are so lame’. She’s younger than me and she thinks she’s so cool.
Despite the massive amounts of awesome I felt a little off balance the whole day. Still do. It’s probably whoremones and lack of sleep but it stopped me from smiling excessively. Of course this off balance thing is what I blame my multiple un-co failures on playground equipment on. I swear I’m normally I’m great at being a little kid. (Insert joke about me being the kid sized, hahaha.)

Anyway, though I wasn’t smiling excessively it was still great. We had spinny, dizzy making rides on the roundabout, (which is where I fell off gracefully); there was good cake, with MEOW written on it in SMARTIES; I got to make a good call about candle replacements; I got lots of squeezehugs; I got to ride on my good friend’s manly shoulders; we climbed multiple playground equipments and we got to wear my fake-bowler hat with a flower on it. Obviously a great day.

I know I said at the start of this blog that I’d write well and not just about feelings and bleh. I’m getting around to that. Sometime I will be writing stuff on politics or philosophy or books. Oh dear. I also have a weekend of doing all my holiday homework ahead of me.

Until then though, you’re stuck with this stuff and I’m going to curl up in a ball and sleep.

p.s. I wish you could be in my hall right now. We have a lego tower that goes from the floor to the ceiling.

That's more than two metres. It is amazing. This one was because of my brother. I am proud