I Don't Want What You Want

Hi guys. Been awhile hey?

Today was nice. Started off with a glowing sunrise and rainbows. Picturesque really and my mood was amped up by it. Post school my friend Shelley came over and we had some fun :). But I've been feeling uneasy. A mixture of boredom, confusion and wanting. I don't really know. I need something new. Not really an adventure. Something comfortable. Told you I meant confused.

Whatever. The Strokes are playing in Melbourne tonight! Wish I could have gone! Brill band. Energetic!

Perhaps that's it. I need more energy. Maybe I should have bought some Mother.

xin

I Can See You Poor Boy Sitting Down All Dolled Up No Where To Go

It's Regency Charmander! Who doesn't love things by Mr Darcy. Speaking of old school romanticism. What happened to it? No, I'm not complaining about how 'there's no more nice guys' or that there aren't 'gentlemen left in the world'. More just wondering what happened?

Some say chivalry is dead. That it's now seen as sexist. Ok, firstly WRONG. Guys are still allowed to be gentlemen. Sure some girls don't like it but the many girls still do want a knight in shining armor. Ok not quite. But you don't have to be a testosterone fueled idiot to get girls. I think most girls want someone who is strong but does have a soft side that's not well known about. But hey that's just my opinion. A lot of this stuff works with out biological evolution as well. We select for strong males but we also want them to have emotions so that they can protect the kids and take care of them.

Sometime I hate how evolution works. Especially human sexual selection because it means the pretty people have the best genetics and there's nothing we can do about them being more attractive. Sure we can put on lots of make up or whatever but it's kinda just hiding our genetic makeup. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like all the pretty clothes and make up is just a cover up.

Anyway this long post hopefully makes up for the fact the last time I posted was a week ago. Everyone seems pretty down at the moment. The cold is sucking my energy.

xin

That Nothing in the World Can Find You?

Don't worry Cammybear I don't intend to kill you and take your skin anytime soon. Who would I watch pokemon with then? :P

Well the picture and quote don't really relate but I like the quote and wanted to share. Coz I'm sharing and caring. Yup that's me. Anyway in english we've been reading A Streetcar Named Desire; which is nice. And we've been asking: what is desire and how is it different from wanting? I'm currently thinking desire is something you want emotionally, as opposed to cravings or whatever. What you desire is something that if you think you get it you'll be fulfilled, satisfied but in reality true desire is insatiable. Feel free to disagree entirely with me.

Short post because sister is angry small child.

<3 xin

.

Trying to be Two Hundred Thousand Years Younger

So I could excuse myself from humankind.

Back at school again. 49 days of it left. I'm doing my homework now. Should have started awhile ago, as in years, but better late than never right?

So yeah, woke up way to early for the soccer to see Spain win. Congrats to them. Now I want to learn Spanish more than ever. Been slightly feverish which is always worrisome. But I'm fine now. Yesterday I spent painting walls for the rents.

Anyway. I've always liked maps and geography. Was good at it too! But that's back in the day. I don't know why I always found it interesting to learn about countries and places. Maybe to soothe the traveler in me. Or just to understand how humans have touched the whole Earth. Or I was just a weird kid who wanted to know that the highest mountain in Western Europe was Mont Blanc.

Point is I FEEL LIKE EXPLORING.

xin

Laugh

By Emerson's definition have I already succeeded? It's nice to think so.

Anyway the end of the holidays is drawing near. Oh la rentree! Ce n'est pas formidable.

That probably has horrible grammar but I don't claim to be good at french. I have not been productive at all and this is slightly concerning to me. I think my laziness shall be my downfall. Or my fear and subsequent refusal to grow up.

I wanted to write about the LXD; Legion of Extraordinary Dancers. BUT I can't view their awesomeness in Australia which is severely disappointing.

Due to my holidays hermitage I have been playing Scrabble. Which I am hoping counts as english homework with its' vocabulary building benefits. Both time that I played at night, 11.30ish with my family I NEARLY could spell dinosaur. Maybe spirits are sending me messages but I WANT MY 50POINT BONUS.

On a less anger inspiring subject I am currently trying to devise a playlist to put on a mixtape (mixCD). Ah the good old mixtape. Love and music in one. Thank you Sally for offering a swap of such amazement.

This has taken an hour to write. That is way too long. Thus I end things here and now.

xin

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.

 

 

As my friend recently said, we are all just people. I'm in one of those moods where I feel flat. Maybe it's all those 3D movies coming out that make me feel 2D. But really we aren't so special. I suppose that's what love is for. Making people feel special.

Anyway I wanted to say: I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP. I've seen what it does to people and I much rather stay where I am. But sooner or later it happens. Here you are remembering your good old year 7 days when BAM you're worrying about how to get into a club with fake ID. I've got hopefully half a century of being over 18 and only two more years of being under. I feel no rush. That's not so bad. I remember back in primary school. We were only 11 and we were discussing who wasn't a virgin. FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I wish little kids weren't so eager to be adults.

I suppose it's a very, very mad world.

xin

ps. In other news Argentina vs Germany has just kicked off. Argentina ftw. It's gonna be a good game.

Tonight's gonna be a good night.

SO GUESS WHAT? I had my yr 12 formal last night.
Was absolutely brilliant. :D
As you can tell I'm in a good mood now!

First I'd like to add a disclaimer: I do NOT like 'I gotta feeling' it's a terrible song. Wayyyy too repetitive, though I'm unfortunately a bogan in disguise so I admit the beat's catchy.

Anyway last night was amazing. Everyone looked beautiful! I danced in 12cm heels. Which hurts like hell.
But hey, I'm tall AND I can do the macarena. That makes me happy, screw the pain.
Though ONE of my friends did get her foot pretty banged up. There was blood.
But the songs were fun. Everyone (eventually) danced. :D

Post formal was good too. Didn't go to the official afterparty as our ID plans went awry.
Instead we went to my lovly friends house and watched trippy late 80's/early 90's children programs.
Mulligrubs. Seriously frightening stuff. Classic songs about scarecrows though.

Beautiful night with beautiful people. My only regret is that I didn't take photos with so many people.
<3 xin