Disintegration

ARGH. I don't know what to do.
I'm not ok and I'm scared to sleep.

I really shouldn't post this but it makes me feel like I'm doing something

Where Troubles Melt Like Lemon Drops

away above the chimney tops

I've cut off facebook in an effort to minimise distractions.
Trying to focus, keep my eye on the prize.
Don't get lazy, don't slack off. It's getting late. Time to start caring.

Somewhere over the rainbow. I will try to be better.

Plutchik

Check it out. Emotional wheel.
That's all I got.

xin.

ps.  Anything Goes was AMAZING. Kudos to all involved.
Also go Georgia and Gus for making me laugh so hard!

I Don't Want What You Want

Hi guys. Been awhile hey?

Today was nice. Started off with a glowing sunrise and rainbows. Picturesque really and my mood was amped up by it. Post school my friend Shelley came over and we had some fun :). But I've been feeling uneasy. A mixture of boredom, confusion and wanting. I don't really know. I need something new. Not really an adventure. Something comfortable. Told you I meant confused.

Whatever. The Strokes are playing in Melbourne tonight! Wish I could have gone! Brill band. Energetic!

Perhaps that's it. I need more energy. Maybe I should have bought some Mother.

xin

I Can See You Poor Boy Sitting Down All Dolled Up No Where To Go

It's Regency Charmander! Who doesn't love things by Mr Darcy. Speaking of old school romanticism. What happened to it? No, I'm not complaining about how 'there's no more nice guys' or that there aren't 'gentlemen left in the world'. More just wondering what happened?

Some say chivalry is dead. That it's now seen as sexist. Ok, firstly WRONG. Guys are still allowed to be gentlemen. Sure some girls don't like it but the many girls still do want a knight in shining armor. Ok not quite. But you don't have to be a testosterone fueled idiot to get girls. I think most girls want someone who is strong but does have a soft side that's not well known about. But hey that's just my opinion. A lot of this stuff works with out biological evolution as well. We select for strong males but we also want them to have emotions so that they can protect the kids and take care of them.

Sometime I hate how evolution works. Especially human sexual selection because it means the pretty people have the best genetics and there's nothing we can do about them being more attractive. Sure we can put on lots of make up or whatever but it's kinda just hiding our genetic makeup. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like all the pretty clothes and make up is just a cover up.

Anyway this long post hopefully makes up for the fact the last time I posted was a week ago. Everyone seems pretty down at the moment. The cold is sucking my energy.

xin

That Nothing in the World Can Find You?

Don't worry Cammybear I don't intend to kill you and take your skin anytime soon. Who would I watch pokemon with then? :P

Well the picture and quote don't really relate but I like the quote and wanted to share. Coz I'm sharing and caring. Yup that's me. Anyway in english we've been reading A Streetcar Named Desire; which is nice. And we've been asking: what is desire and how is it different from wanting? I'm currently thinking desire is something you want emotionally, as opposed to cravings or whatever. What you desire is something that if you think you get it you'll be fulfilled, satisfied but in reality true desire is insatiable. Feel free to disagree entirely with me.

Short post because sister is angry small child.

<3 xin

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Trying to be Two Hundred Thousand Years Younger

So I could excuse myself from humankind.

Back at school again. 49 days of it left. I'm doing my homework now. Should have started awhile ago, as in years, but better late than never right?

So yeah, woke up way to early for the soccer to see Spain win. Congrats to them. Now I want to learn Spanish more than ever. Been slightly feverish which is always worrisome. But I'm fine now. Yesterday I spent painting walls for the rents.

Anyway. I've always liked maps and geography. Was good at it too! But that's back in the day. I don't know why I always found it interesting to learn about countries and places. Maybe to soothe the traveler in me. Or just to understand how humans have touched the whole Earth. Or I was just a weird kid who wanted to know that the highest mountain in Western Europe was Mont Blanc.

Point is I FEEL LIKE EXPLORING.

xin